I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
