I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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