Who wears a wallet chain?!
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
My penis needs a shock collar
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
