Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
