Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
