you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize