Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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