Having a random hookup so left but love u
I think my fart just growled at me.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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