I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
