I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize