so that wasnt chicken after all
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Randomize
