I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
