I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
If I had your ass I would rule the world
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize