you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
