so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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