We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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