It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
