I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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