yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Randomize
