If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize