We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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