he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Randomize
