Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
