its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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