She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
