Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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