I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize