By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
