don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
