Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
