Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
