i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize