definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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