and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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