ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
