I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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