if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
