True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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