hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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