Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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