If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
