I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
