Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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