Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
