did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
