we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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