Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
