What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
