Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
