i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
