he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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