It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
It was confusing and full of hummus
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
