The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Randomize
