Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
