My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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