I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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