How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
