Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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