You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
