The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
