EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
