i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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