he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
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