We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize