I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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