apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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