I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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