You really coming over, don't trick.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
