there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
We talked him into tasing himself.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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