I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
