actually, I'm a sock model
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I need to calm my uterus...
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
