i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
