dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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