This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I wear drunk well.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
